The Life of a Naturefreak

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Goodbye blogger

I'm kind of sad to see it go...but I'm having so much fun actually being able to do what I want over at livejournal....it's been through some MAJOR changes since I started over there, but I think I've finally got it figured out to the way I want. Come join me over there!!!

http://suker4scenery.livejournal.com/


The only thing I wish is that I could make my title a little further from my entries but I haven't found a way to do that yet. :(

I'm soooo tired, I should have been in bed a long time ago...it's been a long and interesting day starting with being late to work....ooopsies *giggles* Anyways...

Goodbye blogger, you've been good to me and I might revisit you when I know more html

Thursday, July 27, 2006

In the process of moving

I'm in the process of moving...not houses mind you, but journals once again. I created life of a naturefreak so that I could do my own html page and get it the way I wanted it, but I never took the ambition to learn. It's a work in progress but I'm having better luck with livejournal since I'm not a very good htmler, but it gives you a lot of options to change things without having to know html....sooooo I will be moving there. I'll give you a confirmed date later. Right now I'll post the same entries to both places while livejournal is still in progress. I'll leave the link on my side bar though, so you can check it out. Here's the one I posted today:


You know? life really is like a dance... with dips and lifts, twists and turns, sometimes it flows and other times it's choppy. You can just learn the steps to follow them automatically without thinking, or you can learn the steps and make your own combinations which is more work. Despite your hardest concentration some mistakes aren't under your control they just happen. And every once in a while you discover a new move that changes everything and makes it all easier. The more steps you learn the harder it gets to remember them all and do what's expected of you and the more you learn the more you realize you have so much more to learn.

There's my profound thoughts of the day, and perhaps week.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Okay, wait, that's just scary

Okay, so I fully expected to do this and have some crazy answer that would be funny to post, but um, that's just scary, and those that know me will know why....

What Makes You Sexy?
by eva71
Name/NickName
Gender
Sexy Body Part IsYour Legs
Special Talents AreLooking Innocent
Quiz created with MemeGen!




Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...breath taking
Your hugs are...friendly
Your eyes...twinkle in the moonlight
Your touch is...heart warming
Your smell is...refreshing
Your smile is...amazing
Your love is...one of a kind
Quiz created with MemeGen!




Don't have much to report, that's why I'm doing these from friend's sites.

Oh! I do have something to say... this weekend my great aunt helen and great aunt ginny's house was sold. And it was really sad. I didn't expect to be filled with such a heaviness that day. my last childhood home gone. *sighs* I found a really cool copy of a painting though. For some reason, and I don't know why, it's beautiful to me and I can't help looking at it. It's entrances me, which is weird for art and me.

And I want to publish a book...sooooo bad.

And the book called the Land of Women is good, especially if you like drama and understanding the intensity of creating or polishing something you created or found.

hugs this week to Laurel and Callalily, you each know why. ;)

Monday, June 19, 2006

I knew, but I didn't

I am angry right now. I'm sitting here with a tissue in tears because of it. I'm angry that I am part of a society that thinks rebuilding better levies in New Orleans is a good idea. I'm angry that hate crimes exist. I'm angry that we have to fight. I'm angry that I live in a society where being yourself is only okay if it's in the confinements of what's "acceptable" even when it's not hurting anyone. I'm angry that humans can be so narrow minded. I'm angry that normal exists in our language as well as mine. I'm angry that we produce humans to make money and die. But most of all, most of all I'm angry at me. I'm angry at myself for not believing that I have the power to change the world, and I'm angry because I know I won't even try.

swirling array

I know I should be sleeping right now. It's 3 o'clock in the morning and I planned to go to bed hours ago. In fact, I planned to go to bed hours ago twice now. Once was around 10, but then I couldn't help it and stayed up messing with my ringtones and had the briefest of conversations with Callalily. And next was just after that before I divulged into a 185 page book and couldn't stop. While it was good, and full of drama, probably a little cliche, and right up my alley for types of books I felt a compulsion stronger than interest driving me this morning as I read. It was more to get lost. Do any of you notice how wonderful it is to read simply because you can get lost into some other world and the one you're living in disapears? It's not as if I have any pressing issues on my mind, or problems that I would want to avoid. But I suddenly have the very strong urge to cry. And not because the book was beautiful, even though it was, but because I'm back to reality. Whenever I finish a book I can't start another one for that entire day because I'm just so wrapped up in the blanket and atmosphere of the book, the new one just doesn't seem to quite take. But today...today I just want to read. I want to read until I can't read anymore and then dream about the world of the books. But what I don't understand is, why? What has got me wanting to run? Is it something that I am feeling that I am conciously not aware of yet? or is it a premonition of unpleasantness to come? or is it just that I've been missing school, Disney, and Callalily that I just want to go to and experience a world where there is completeness, real or not? I don't know why it should even matter, but I feel like my head is buzzing with a thousand thoughts, yet I cannot understand any of them. I feel like I have a lot to think about, but when I sit down to think nothing comes. Where am I? who am I? and what am I doing and why, what for? I feel like I'm not feeling anything anymore, that I'm just on this plateau of mediocreness. I feel joy and saddness, but nothing intensified nothing that reaches below the surface, I don't even know if there is a below the surface anymore. I feel so strangely calm, but that the peacefullness is making me restless because it's not truly a peace, but a quietness. I don't even know what this means, it's a whole lot of nothingness drug out into a whole lot of somethingness. And how come the nothingness feels so much like something and the somethingness doesn't really feel like anything? I need to sleep, but I think I'm too tired to, as well as not nearly tired enough.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Please, baby, don't make me play the part of Nan the oyster girl

I guess I don't even really have all that much to talk about. Things at home are up and down. I love being so close to my family. I like being able to talk to them and spend time with them, I love them so much they don't even know how many times I've wanted to break down just because of how loved I felt. I'm sad because know I'm not going to get to do nearly as much as I wanted to this summer, and I'm tired of constantly searching but never finding a job. ANd I don't want to live to work my whole life and then die, I want to travel and today am in a particularly anxious and restless mood. Meh.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

There is an end in sight

My title is referring to my room. Finally, I can see most of the floor!! hehe! yay!


You Are 10% Evil

You are good. So good, that you make evil people squirm.
Just remember, you may need to turn to the dark side to get what you want!


I can hear someone out there saying..."Come to the dark side, we have cookies." ;)

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

In for the long haul or just here and now?

It was pointed out to me the other day by a good friend just how long it has been since I've blogged. And now I realize why; I've been sitting here with this first sentance written for over 20 minutes. I guess that I have so much to say I don't even know where to start.

As most of you know, but maybe not all of you, my dad's boss gave our family a vaccation. We ate at these extravagent places too. He gave us 200$ gift certificates to two really nice restaurants where the bill went over that. And although the food was good I couldn't believe how expensive it was!! oh but the chocolate souffle....mmmm mmmm mmmm. We were also his guests at the country club and one day we spent under the beach umbrella's. I was drinking a strawberry dacarie, and we all would take breaks in the water to cool off. We also went to see a lighthouse, picked up about 3 lbs. of shells off the beach, stayed out for the sunsets, spent time on the lanai, walked around the different shops in downtown Fort Myers, saw part of an airshow, saw the coolest rainbow that went ALL the way around the sun, played some regular oooooold nintendo and reminisced, and all four of us just had a really good time just being with one another, though admittedly by the end of the week I was really ready for some more and different human contact.

I got it just as I came back from FL too, because on Sunday, the day after we got back, was my uncle's 50th suprise birthday party. It's kind of funny because the 50th birthday is working it's way down the family. My mom is one of 7 and they were all born a year or two apart, so every year or so someone turns 50. But anyway, had a very nice time over there got to see a close friend of the family's that I haven't seen since my graduation trip. And I haven't seen much at all of my family lately since I've been at school and it's not as easy for me to make it home with all the stuff I have to do up there. So I had very much fun. Afterwards I spent the night at grandma's house and had more time to spend with her my aunt and kamero. We watched the newest Wallace and Grommit movie and it was funny. We had a memorial day picnic the next day. That's when we always used to have our family reunions. I am sooo glad that we are all so close that we can get together and have family reunions all the time...but I miss having the big celebration every year. And although the picnic was looovely, I almost wish my parents hadn't been coming or that there wasn't a picnic because then I would have had a chance to ride home with kamero, I was hoping to be able to do that, we always have such a nice time!

My room is officially a disaster..the problem is I need to clean everything OUT before I have room for anything to go back IN. And then I have the dilema of ffinding places to put the things that I only need at school. I've got so much in my room that it makes it look small. I'd like to get the stereo system out of my room because it comes with huuuge speakers and is a huge system and neither the 5 disc CD changer works or the tape player. Pretty much the only thing that does is the record player and even though I don't listen to the records that often I still wouldn't want to lose it.

I miss Callalily so much. hehe I wonder if she's gotten all my postcards yet. *giggles* I got my pictures developed just as soon as I got home and there are some awesome ones of us in there, I can't wait for her to see them! I hope we don't get stuck in jobs that don't let us get to see each other, even if it's only for a weekend or two. If I get the one I'm hoping for I'll be getting paid 8.50/hr with more steady hours than retail. Even if it starts at the butt crack of dawn it will be worth it.

I highly recommend the book "A Seahorse Year" to everyone, but it was this part on page 6 that I knew I loved her writing style. I finished the book last night and it was suprisingly not cliche at all and very realistic, I like cliche endings though and so it'll take me a few times of reading this book to fall in love with the ending too..it really is an excellent book, and I'll shut up about it now so you can go get it from the library before I spoil it all. But still I would like you to read the part that made me fall in love with the book on page six. You need to know that Nan has a son around 16 who ran away and has not contacted any of them, and they're worrried that he maybe even didn't run away that he was taken or is hurt and so they're kind of frantic. Marina is Nan's lover and here is the passage. "Nan parts Marina's thighs with her hand, buries her hands, her tongue, in Marina, as desperately as if this is their last fuck on Earth. Marina shakes, but doesn't come yet. She pulls Nan up beside her in the twisted sheets. Nan is sweating and crying at the same time, and her lips feel rough and hot. Marina kisses Nan with deep purposeful kisses, wanting to draw the poison out, but they are both poisoned, so she can't. They can only pass the poison between them." How powerful is that? whoa, I love it.

As odd as this sounds, and believe me, anyone who knows me it's odd, I hate gardening and yard work, but I think that's what I'm going to do today. Guess I better go take a Claritin and look for some gardening gloves, but first it's a bit of lunch for me. Take care everyone!!!




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