Deck of Cards

(Again I apologize to my readers, I don't mean to be so down, but I can't help it..I'm scared and I don't know what to do. I might have to withdrawl from some classes this semester and I'm sooo close to finishing. I'm so confused, and being worried won't help me get better, I know. But it's hard to remain positive when I know the way I am is not me. I want to scream at them THIS IS NOT HOW I NORMALLY AM I CAN'T HELP THAT I WANT TO FALL ASLEEP ALL HOURS OF THE DAY AND THE AMOUNT OF SLEEP I GET IS NEVER ENOUGH. And I hate that the person my professors see is not someone to be proud of, like I'm used to. *sighs* again, I'm sorry.)

I seem to like the number of cards in a normal deck. Unfortunately, I like them for test scores. Chem and French. What's wrong with me? And it's so frustrating because I know if I felt like me, if I felt normal, I could handle this. And now I'm failing and I feel like I'm letting EVERYONE down. DAMNIT! Unfortunately, swearing and crying don't solve these problems, trust me, I know, I've tried both.