Apemen

I am having a few problems this semester.

Procrastination and unmotivation is definately one. I have a lot of hard classes this semester and I should work on them a lot more, but I'm just so unmotivated it's really hard. And it's not that I don't want good grades, because believe me I do, but maybe in Florida I found something that was more important; people. And maybe Florida made me realize I'm never going to want a job where I get payed good money. I could get a job somewhere right now, maybe even getting payed 10$ an hour. I just don't want to waste my time here getting an education when we don't have the money for it. If we did it would be different...but we don't I'm going to be in debt for the rest of my life and for the first time I don't know if that's worth it. I don't wanna go home, but I don't want to study either...*laughs*

Lonlieness is another. I have friends, I know that I'm not stupid and I'm so thankful I do. But maybe I want more than a friend. Maybe I want a BEST friend a best best best friend who doesn't have another best friend. Maybe I'm tired of being second all the time. Maybe I want someone to hold me and tell me everything is going to be fine. (although this sounds like a sig. other, it doesn't have to be) Maybe I don't want to have to do school work by myself (yes I realize there really isn't any other way, only I can make myself learn) maybe I'm tired of eating by myself. Maybe, just maybe I am.

I had an awesome time last night/early this morning though. Despite it starting bad, it allowed me to have a reallly good conversation with someone that I have needed to talk to for a long time. It allowed me to get updated on all that was going on and say things honestly and completely to someone who really needed to hear them. I heard things I needed to hear from her and we laughed and got a couple of good quotes out of the night. I was then able to sleep last night..without her call..I dunno, it wouldn't have been near as good a night. I take that back, without her it would have been a really crappy night. Thanks Daff...I heart you megatons!

Today I'm going to have dinner with Yellow Rose, Sunflower, and Daisy, hopefully that goes well, I miss them being right here with me all the time.

Take care peeps!